Archive for the open letters Category

Funny Email Chain for a Collection Agent

Posted in funny, open letters, stunts with tags , , , on June 9, 2009 by absurddelight

Geekologie posted a full email chain for a clever, but apparently broke iconoclast who repeatedly attempts to settle a back debt of $200+ by emailing in a drawing of a spider.

And when it isn’t accepted, he rightly demands that it be sent back to him. That’s pretty much all the progress he gets out of it. But if you enjoy reading mockery of debt collectors, click below.

Link. Via Sean C.

Best Spam Ever – Part 5

Posted in open letters with tags , , on May 5, 2009 by absurddelight

See the earlier posts 1, 2, 3, and 4 to get some choice emails giving the run around to some foolish Nigerian/419 scammers.

From: InfoUsa MoneyLaundary <>
Sent: Thursday, April 23, 2009 1:53:28 PM
Subject: Re: Dear Jarod L. Bingham, acknowledgment from UN Loan Association.

Dear Jarod L. Bingham,

This is to acknowledge the receipt of the filled/signed loan application form along with a copy of the money order which you sent to this office.
We are however sorry that the first payment you sent through this method wasn’t received and we believe that if the express couriers that you are using are reliable, they will return the money back to you soon since we didnt receive it.
Be informed that your filled loan form has already been forwarded to our verification and processing department for x-ray test and after which, the approval will be granted for the US$26, 000, 000, 00 loan which shall be released to your account from our pay Roll office Benin Republic.
Therefore you are advised to contact our pay Roll office in Benin Republic immediately and ask them to confirm your information from our London office in advance, we shall also contact them as soon as possible with the advance update.
Note that our financial analyst is currently in Benin Republic for a twenty one day board meeting with the team of our top officials over there for the progress of this orginization.
Our Address in Benin which you have to contact is atated below.
Contact person: Mr. Raphael Moses
Please kindly follow our instruction.
Best regards,
Bryan Clark.
The real fun is backing the scammers into more and more corners. Each time they offer any information about themselves that is obviously false, it becomes our duty to bring it up over and over and choke them with it.
From: J B
Date:Mon, Apr 27, 2009 at 7:21 PM
Subject:Dear Mr. Raphael Moses
Continue reading

Best Spam Ever – Part 4

Posted in open letters with tags , , on May 4, 2009 by absurddelight

Here’s the continuation of Absurd Delight’s ongoing international campaign to mock, confuse and insignificantly impeded one particularly inept Nigerian/419 Scammer.

To truly appreciate the absurdity here, please read this thread from the beginning when we first received an offer from the United Nations Money Laundering Association in part 1. See their Laundering Application form here. And read the bizarre evolution of the scam and scambaiting in part 2 and part 3.

As before, our favorite parts are in blue. Enjoy!


From: InfoUsa MoneyLaundary
Subject: Re: Dear Jarod L. Bingham, urgent request from UN Loan Association.
Date: Tuesday, April 14, 2009, 5:37 AM

Dear Jarod L. Bingham,

We are glad to inform you that we have finally completed every arrangement to offer you the loan which you requested for.

However to complete the process, you are requested to fill the attached Loan Application Form and return it to this office along with the fee attached to it.

You are therefore advised to remit the fee Via Western Union Money Transfer using the information of our financial secretary below.

Receiver’s Name: JOEL PETERSON
Country: LONDON UK
Text Question: WHAT COLOR?
Answer: BLUE

as soon as you make the payment, kindly forward an attached copy of the Western Union Payment Receipt for withdrawal and also send via e-mail, the MTCN Number along with the name of Sender.
We await your response and urgent compliance.

Bryan Clark,
UN Lending Unit.


EDs NOTE: No matter how badly they want a Western Union payment, we don’t see why we can’t just keep mailing them money orders to their official United Nations address, which changes from email to email! Ha!


From: J B
Sent: 4/20/2009 7:05:24 PM
To: InfoUsa MoneyLaundary
Subject: Re: Dear Jarod L.. Bingham, urgent request from UN Loan Association.


Last Monday, April 13, I send the loan application as well as a money order for $800 USD (550 British pounds) to:

Continue reading

Drunk Texting Compilation

Posted in funny, open letters, things i like with tags , , , on April 28, 2009 by absurddelight

Drunk dialing is fun … to hear about later. But it’s just not the ideal format to relish on a lazy blog like this one.

Luckily, some more ambitious web addicts have put together a fine compilation of presumably real drunk text messages.

They’re organized by zip code, though that really doesn’t matter. What matters is how cell phone keypads somehow induce these people to spew the most embarrassing confessionals. Also, how lucky we, the blog readers, are that some people instinctively turn to text messaging when faced with an absurd predicament.

Scrolling through the archives is like a random sampling of American bad decisions, short term regret, and foolish bragging.

Here are some of our favorites:

Continue reading

Pray, Explain This Picture

Posted in funny, open letters with tags , , , on April 21, 2009 by absurddelight

So this is a great conceptual pic, right? Now try and guess what it’s for?

Give up?

A prayer website. And a pretty engaging one at that.

Dear God lets anyone, worshiping any God, write in with a pithy (or rambling) letter to God. Then they’ll post the “best” under a seemingly visually striking photograph that allegedly relates to the existential plight in the letter. Really it’s just a cool photo site with yammering words you ignore most of the time. Categories include Sex (funny pic there), Work, Belief, and others, including the category for the pic above, Dreams.

This head shopper is upset about the pointlessness of corporate life or something or other.


Follow Absurd Delight on Twitter.

Best Spam Ever – Pic of UN Money Laundering Form

Posted in open letters with tags , , , on April 12, 2009 by absurddelight

See earlier posts for the background on this.

It is mind blowing that email scammers could make this form but can’t string an English sentence together, confuse money “lending” and “laundering” and believe we were attacked by natives!

BONUS: We think the 419 scammers were inspired (and also confused) by this UN site. Note how the logo matches the one on this form. There is even a “Fraud Warning” right there on the main page mentioning this spam scam.

Follow Absurd Delight on Twitter for the latest.

Best Spam Ever – Part 3

Posted in open letters with tags , , , on April 11, 2009 by absurddelight

This is just amazing!

Here’s part 3 of the email chain between email spammers from the United Nations Money Laundering Association and Absurd Delight.

Part 1 has the ridiculous opening email salvo from the spammers, in part 2 our man, Jarod Bingham has been attacked by natives thus delaying the transaction, and also has received counter laundering offers from Nigeria. Now it just gets more absurd as the UN Launderers jealsously guard their turf from Nigerian competitors. Best parts in blue.


From: InfoUsa MoneyLaundary <>
Subject: Re: Re: Dear Jarod L. Bingham, response from UN, team.
Date: Friday, April 10, 2009, 7:03 PM

Dear Jarod L. Bingham,

We are sorry for what you went through during your travel to Peru. Your mail has been received along with copies of your passport and your contact phone number. Be rest assured that all your information including your private phone number are already kept in absolute confidentiality.

Concerning the Loan application Registration form, we shall definitely forward it to you by tomorrow 11th April. Therefore as soon as you receive the form, kindly follow the instruction and get back to us as soon as possible.

Finally We want to respond to your information on the loan offer that you said that you have received from Nigeria, there is no doubt that some unscrupulous Nigerian elements will try to contravene the law of the United Nations.

We want to inform you that during the time when this program was initially established, Nigeria was counted out because they opposed the motion and as a matter of fact, only two countries in West Africa was registered to represent the UN in West Africa for this loan offer.

Therefore if any one is contacting you from Nigeria with any kind of loan offer, such person is a fraud star and should be reported to the police for breaking the law of the United Nations. Continue reading

Best Spam Ever – part 2

Posted in open letters with tags , , on April 10, 2009 by absurddelight

See previous post for the start of the email chain between a 419 email scammer and a friend of Absurd Delight, also for funny 419 scam links.

All you really need to know is the scammers are from the United Nations Money Laundering Association. But their English is so bad they don’t really know the difference between “laundering” and “lendering.” Our favorite parts in blue.


Subject: Dear Jarod L. Bingham, acknowledgment needed by UN, team.

From: InfoUsa MoneyLaundary <>
Subject: Re: Dear Jarod L. Bingham, acknowledgment needed by UN, team.
Date: Tuesday, March 31, 2009, 10:57 AM

Dear Jarod L. Bingham,
It is very important that you acknowledge the receipt of the below mail which was sent to you from this office previously to enable us move ahead with the process.
Bryan Clark.
Dear Jarod L. Bingham,
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail along with your particulars in respect to the lendering process of the $26,000,000 USD from this UN money lendering association. We have noted the content of your mail along with your request of providing you with the official Laundering Application Registration Form [pic here] and the address to which you should submit it.
Mr. Jarod, we are sorry to inform you that … Continue reading

Best Spam Ever – part 1

Posted in open letters with tags , , , , on April 9, 2009 by absurddelight

Here’s the most entertaining Nigerian/419 scam email I’ve ever gotten. The best parts are in blue, links in orange as usual:

———————————————————————————————– Thu, Mar 26, 2009 at 8:00 AM


United Nation
Money Laundering Association
256 East 45th Street,
London, NY 10025-6745.


Attention :::::::::::: Sir,

I am Mr. Rod Smith, a secretary from United Nation Money laundering Association here in London. We discovered that you needed a financial help and support to achieve your goals for establishing goods Business opoortunities like building of Factories, Estates, Hospitals or more other business opportunities that can yield much money here in europe.

Here is the door open for you for laundering to any amount of money that you needed or desire to achieve your goals and expectations, because our main motives and aim is to make less priviledge and the rich once becomes more successful in life.

We will offer you any rate or any amount of your desire but our least and maximum laundering is from the sum of 500,000, to 100,000,000,00 Dollars, Euro or Pounds, and our percentage commission is 15% commission after 18 months of laundering.

So try as much as posible to visit us directly at our company email contact with your personal details like your International Passport/Driving Licence, country/Address and your Mobile/Fax Number.

Best Regards,
Mr. Rod Smith.
Secretary general.


By now this kind of email is prehistoric news, but this was was special for the combination of the incredibly unbelievable location, the gratuitous invocation of the United Nations and the bold request for so much information.

Read more to see what we sent back to him, and the subsequent email chain.

Continue reading

A Letter to A Boss (NSFW Language)

Posted in business, open letters with tags , on March 13, 2009 by absurddelight

[ED NOTE: This is an actual letter to an actual boss that was forwarded around an actual office among at least four employees and this blog. I hope for them (I do not work with them), their boss doesn’t read this blog. Who am I kidding. Nobody reads this blog)]

Hey guys,

I took the liberty of signing this on your behalf.  I hope it’s OK.  It’s a petition I sent to the heads of staff here at UNNAMED COMPANY.

Dear F**kheads,

The following is a petition signed by various employees urging you to Continue reading

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